My sister and I were terribly bored yesterday, and wanted to find something to watch while bujoing. Because I can’t remember my Amazon password, finishing our The Americans binge was not an option. We were left with Netflix, and ultimately decided on A & E: When Patients Attack. The single episode of the show is billed as a documentary showcasing the tough work of private security at Queen Elizabeth Hospital.

In short, my sister and I were horrified. The first patient Security is called upon to deal with is an ambulatory patient who needs to go to the restroom, but refuses to use the bedpan provided by the hospital. In what appears to be a matter of minutes (although one can never really tell, given editing), the man is on the floor, pinned down by guards until police come. Seriously?! Why wouldn’t anyone permit this poor man to piss in a manner he found more conducive to the need – let alone give him any options? And why did hospital staff call on Security, who immediately escalated the situation?

Then we see a series of individuals seeking entrance to the hospital, but whose prior complaints and frequent-flyer status lead Security to believe no treatment is needed. Instead, these individuals are hanging out at the hospital because they are homeless and have nothing better to do. I could not understand why the first individual, Dean, was never offered some kind of volunteer position at the hospital. He clearly enjoyed being there and had no intention of leaving; why not give him a purpose and a sense of productivity while he is there? Queen Elizabeth Hospital went so far as to forbid one frequent-flyer, Frank, from returning for one year. In the updates at the end of the documentary, a caption revealed Frank died months after being banned. Do hospital staff still claim that he was not in need of treatment?

The final case that bugged my sister and I was a drunk woman with foot pain. Based on interviews from involved parties, it was easy to deduce that a nurse had done a brief interview with the patient. Because the patient was noisy and began to complain about wait times, Security was called to kick the patient out. The patient complained that no one had actually examined her foot, but staff claimed the examination was completed during the course of the interview. Really? No need for x-rays? No need to even take off the patient’s shoe and look at her foot? This vignette really illustrated the “merits” of socialized medicine!

If I were the attorney for Queen Elizabeth Hospital, I would never agree to the release of this documentary! And if I were a member of the staff, I would be absolutely mortified and ashamed!